My Love Life

As a young sixteen-year-old boy, I thought life was simple and straight forward. I believed the world was as easy as yes meaning yes and no, no. I thought everything was black and white. I wish I knew I was wrong; I wish I knew life was beyond that.

There was this guy whom amidst our discussion, I asked him his relationship status. He smiled for a while, frowned and told me it was complicated. I despised him then, thinking he was joking with me or probably he was a playboy. But noticing my countenance, he calmly replied, “You’ll understand when you grow up.”

And now, on my twenty-first birthday, I just wished I understood earlier what he had told me, I never grew up with all these responsibilities. I think am going crazy thinking about my life, and now, I understood why he said his relationship status was complicated back then.

I think I understand what it feels like when you love a girl but she can’t love you, while another girl makes everything feel right but you are all that’s wrong in her life. Yet another is the lady of your dreams but you don’t appear, even in her scary nightmares. Still you think about a girl all day but you are the last thing that will ever cross her mind. And some other girl is your childhood crush but she wouldn’t even look at your direction. Moreover, you want to be in a girl’s arms all day and she’s scared of your presence, while another girl is all you need but you are the last thing she’ll ever want. And then, one comes along that finally loves you truly, but you get separated by culture, religion, parental influence, society and distance.

And today amidst my discussion with a kid, he asked me about my relationship status. I looked at him, remembering all the sweet moments I shared with every single one of those girls, I smiled. Then I realized none of them can ever be mine, I frowned and replied, “It’s complicated.”

When I noticed his countenance revealed that he somehow despises me, I calmly told him, “You will understand when you grow up.”