I used to shut my door
While my mother screamed
On top of her voice in the kitchen.
I used to walk out of the house to nowhere
Whenever my father shouted at me
For even the simplest error.
I’d turn the music up and get high
Trying not to listen to every little fight they had
Because it was clear neither one of them was right.
No matter how hard I tried
I couldn’t help but wonder
Why my parents never seem happy.
I swore to myself
That I’d never be like my parents
Never to make the mistakes they made.
I used to close my eyes
And pray I had different parents
One that didn’t feel like mine.
I wished for a family
Where everything was fine
But I was just a kid back then.
The older I get the more that I see
My parents aren’t heroes
They are just like me.
Loving is damn hard
It doesn’t always work the way you want
You just try your best not to get hurt.
I used to be mad but now I understand
Sometimes it’s better to let someone go
Life hadn’t hit me then.
Now, I’m older
And maybe, wiser
I’m starting to understand everything.
This poem was inspired by Sasha Sloan's Older.