OLDER

I used to shut my door

While my mother screamed

On top of her voice in the kitchen.

I used to walk out of the house to nowhere

Whenever my father shouted at me

For even the simplest error.

I’d turn the music up and get high

Trying not to listen to every little fight they had

Because it was clear neither one of them was right.

No matter how hard I tried

I couldn’t help but wonder

Why my parents never seem happy.

I swore to myself

That I’d never be like my parents

Never to make the mistakes they made.

I used to close my eyes

And pray I had different parents

One that didn’t feel like mine.

I wished for a family

Where everything was fine

But I was just a kid back then.

The older I get the more that I see

My parents aren’t heroes

They are just like me.

Loving is damn hard

It doesn’t always work the way you want

You just try your best not to get hurt.

I used to be mad but now I understand

Sometimes it’s better to let someone go

Life hadn’t hit me then.

Now, I’m older

And maybe, wiser

I’m starting to understand everything.

This poem was inspired by Sasha Sloan's Older.